Empty kitchen...

My kitchen is a bit empty today. The large 4 foot cage that sat in the corner next to my water heater has now been placed outside...empty.

Yesterday, started off wonderfully, my best friend coming over to give me a wake up call and spend some time with me...and then an hour later, there we are in the back yard...burying my baby squirrel.

Scuttle had been with us for about 3-4 months. She was about 4 weeks old...still had her eyes closed, when she came in to my heart. She went everywhere with me, as I had to feed her with a syringe every 3 hours. As she grew, she got to be so funny! I'd let her out of the cage, only to look for her minutes later and find her in the huge bag of bird seed on the back porch. She liked sitting on my shoulder. I could walk into a room, and immediately she run to me, run up my leg and up to her place on my shoulder. She was just such a fun little creature.

I have no idea what happened. She seemed completely fine early yesterday morning, when I gave her water and gave her a cracker. She drank and ate and then soon, her little heart stopped beating, her sprity tail ceased twitched...her soulful eyes lost their twinkle.

I cried. And I still have some today. So sad to have lost her. She had brought many laughs to me and even brought a confidence of being able to take care of this little orphaned one. It was pure hell to reach in and lift her soft little, still warm, body from her cage...but I wanted to hold her one last time.

My best friend was with me all the way and even cried with me...I am so glad to have shared such a raw moment. It is a wondrous thing to be able to be yourself...I didn't have to think twice about being upset about a small little being -- I mean in the whole scheme of things...life, kids, jobs, money...a little gray squirrel dying isn't a terribly big thing...but to me, its the small things...the small treasures in life that bring such joy to my heart...things that others pass by without so much as a second glance...my best friend knows that of me and even shares that wonderous gift!